How to Attract your Ideal Partner
So you want to be in a relationship? We all have a deep desire to connect with our ideal partner, a companion, someone to be a witness to our lives as we will be to theirs.
You may be surprised to know that the Law of Attraction can bring you that special someone! You have to know why, and the processes to guide your thoughts, so that you can attract him or her.
Do this with awareness so that you don’t just repeat old patterns, or attract what you don’t want!
First of all, what is the Law of Attraction?
As a certified and experienced Law of Attraction life coach, I coach people all over the world. I always ask them “What is the Law of Attraction?” Many times I get either the wrong answer, or part of the answer. With all the videos and books out there about it, there seems to be a disconnect with what the Law of Attraction actually is.
So I’ll tell you.
My favorite definition is: like energy attracts like energy.
That sounds good, but what does that mean?
Like thoughts attract like thoughts and like vibration attract like vibration. What you think about causes you to offer a vibration. That vibration is what the Law of Attraction picks up on and matches.
To make it even clearer, what you think about and focus on causes you to feel a certain way about whatever topic you’re thinking about. That feeling could also be called your vibration about the topic. The Law of Attraction picks up on that vibration and gives you more life experiences and circumstances that match it. For example, you may think about how hard it is to meet someone. This may lead to more thoughts along those lines like “all the good ones are taken” or “I’ve been single for too long, I’ll never meet someone.”
Low vibration thoughts about being in a relationship are causing the Law of Attraction to continue making those thoughts a reality for you. The good news is that with time and practice you can improve your thoughts about attracting someone special. Therefore you’ll be putting out a higher vibration about meeting someone, and the Law of Attraction can’t help but bring him or her to you!
Sounds great – right? Well it is great!
The other thing to keep in mind is that it’s not your job to know how or when that will happen.
Once you start questioning how long it will take for it to happen, or “that it all sounds good but when will it happen?” – you are creating resistance.
Those thoughts are low vibration and will just add to blocking it from happening. This is because low vibration thoughts block manifestation.
#1 – Your Relationship with Yourself
Before we get further into attracting that special someone, we have some important homework. The best way to get yourself ready is to focus on the relationship you have with yourself, and with those you already know.
This is important because once you improve the relationship you have with yourself and others, you’re putting yourself in a higher overall vibration. In a higher general vibration, it is easier for you to attract your ideal partner.
When you’re at a higher vibration more of what you want happens for you. Just like when you’re at a low vibration, you’ll attract more of what you don’t want. It’s always up to you where you are vibrationally; you just have to know what to do to control it.
So, how do you know how your relationship is with yourself? Ask yourself:
- “How do I treat myself?”
- “Are there any areas that I could think more positively about myself?”
- “Do I make healthy decisions and healthy choices?”
- “Am I taking action to improve the areas in my life that need to improve?”
Once you come up with the answers to those questions, start taking action to improve in those areas. This is vital because if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, how can you expect to have a good relationship with someone else?
As long as you are taking action to improve yourself, you’re continually in a better place to attract someone. A good way to start doing this is to make a list of the areas in which you think you can improve the relationship with yourself. Refer to it and check in with yourself regularly to make sure you’re taking action to improve in those areas.
#2 – Your Relationship with Others
It is wise to assess your current relationships too, to find trends and patterns.
You have to ask yourself:
- “How are my relationships with other people I know such as family and friends?”
- “Are there any areas that I can improve with regards to those people?”
- “Can I communicate better?”
- “Is it possible to be more honest when I talk with someone?”
- “Am I doing my part to try to have the best relationship I can with family and friends?”
If not, then just like with yourself, start taking some positive action towards having better relationships with family and friends. Only you know what that is. If you’re not treating people like you want to be treated, please take action towards doing that so that you’re putting yourself at a higher vibration. When you’re feeling at a higher vibration, then you’re going to attract more of what you want.
Write down the areas in which you think you can improve the relationships you currently have. Refer to it in the future and check in with yourself to make sure you’re taking action to improve those relationships to the best they can be.
#3 – Know your Why
Assuming that you’ve spent some time pondering the above and have started taking action to improve the relationship with yourself, and with your friends and family, you are ready to move on. Now it’s time to start to do the work required to attract that special someone!
I use the word “work” not because it will require you to take action, but because you do have to deliberately think differently than you’re used to. In the beginning it can feel like work. Trust me, it gets easier. When that special someone does come along, it’s worth it!
First of all, it’s important to be clear on why you want to be in a relationship.
- Do you want the experience of falling in love?
- Is it because you want companionship as time goes by?
- Or because you want children?
- Are you just tired of being single?
- Is it because you’re finally ready to meet someone better than your last relationship?
Whatever the reason, or reasons, write them down: I want to be in a relationship because:
#4 – Know who you are looking for
Now that you’re clearer on why you want a relationship, let’s go a step further.
It is critical to be clear and specific about the kind of person you’re looking for. Just imagine that you’re going to a computer and inputting all the qualities you want in someone special.
It’s important to bring in the feeling component. Describe how you want to feel when you’re around this wonderful person, and how you want him or her to feel when they’re around you.
Make a list of these qualities. I’ll give you some examples that you can use as well.
The qualities I’m looking for in someone are:
Some examples to help you get started: These are the qualities I’d like the person I want to attract into my life to have:
Smart, sexy, down-to-earth personality, romantic, between the ages of ___ and ___, likes kids, likes to travel, likes to play tennis, likes going to museums, likes to have fun, is creative, likes going out to eat, is a home body, likes to bowl, likes going to the casino, has an outgoing personality, has a good sense of humor, is more spiritually inclined, is the same religion as me, is into the Law of Attraction, accepts me for who I am, has a more positive personality, makes me feel loved, is financially secure, is emotionally balanced, makes me feel happy, makes me feel like I’m special, likes dogs (or cats, or whatever it is you like regarding pets), likes country music (or whatever music you like), likes sports, is athletic/likes to exercise, is into healthy eating, wants to get married, is single and available, is ______________.
The list could be endless, but the above gives you a some ideas to get started.
Now that you have your list of qualities of who you’re looking for, you’re ready to start thinking about this amazing person. By having clarity in your description of this person, you can attract him or her to you.
#5 – Unblock any Resistance
You have to know that resistance is a word that we use a lot in the Law of Attraction community.
Resistance to something is all the doubt, worry, fear, how?, when? type of thoughts. Resistant thoughts block manifestation. Every time you think about the low vibration thoughts mentioned at the beginning of this article, you’re in essence putting up a wall of resistance. This wall is blocking your special someone from being drawn to you.
Any time we want to attract something into our lives, we have to think about it in a non-resistant way so that we can allow it into our existence.
There are two ways to do this:
- By Focusing on what you want and why you want it
- And by specifically releasing the “how” of the manifestation.
#6 – The What and Why of your Want
The first way is to start getting used to simply focusing on what you want. The easiest way to do this is to simply ask yourself “What do I want and why do I want it?”
So for example, you could think something along these lines:
- “I really want to be in a wonderful relationship so that I can experience a deep relationship with someone.”
- “My desire is for a companion who’s always around so that we can support each other emotionally.”
- “I want to be with a soul mate who likes to have fun so we can have fun together.”
You have to remember that like thoughts attract like thoughts. So the more you get used to asking yourself what you want, and why you want it, the more you’ll be able to think of your ideal partner in a vibrationally attractive way.
Of course we attract what we’re spending our time thinking about, so you’ll know that the more you think about it, the more you’ll be setting yourself up to attract that into your life.
#7 – Let go of the “How”
Another way to think about attracting someone into your life without resistance is to use the sentence “I don’t know how this is going to happen but I want ______.”
You can use your list of the qualities you want in someone with that sentence. For example,
- “I don’t know how this is going to happen, but I want to attract a soul mate who likes to travel.”
- “It’s unclear how this is going to happen but I want to attract a soul mate who likes to have conversations about the Law of Attraction.”
- “I don’t know how this is going to happen but I want to have a soul mate who likes to spend Saturday nights at home watching funny movies.”
By thinking about someone you want to attract in this way, you’re stating what you want without any resistance. It reminds you that you don’t know how you’re going to meet your soul mate, but this is what you want.
Just by practicing the above two methods you’ll be spending your time wisely in your efforts to attract a wonderful relationship.
#8 – Use Positive Framing
The key is to focus on what you want in a way that you’re doing it with a high vibration. Just make sure that you keep it 100% positive.
For example, you wouldn’t want to say or think “I want to attract a soul mate who doesn’t have a bad temper.” Whenever we say or think “doesn’t” it’s like saying that’s what we want! So the better way to think about that example would be to state what you do want “I want to attract a soul mate who is level headed and can easily handle difficult situations.”
Can you tell the difference?
Now you have a great idea on how to start attracting your soul mate from a Law of Attraction point-of-view.
If you’re really ready to find him or her, practice the above and expect it to happen without getting caught up in the when or how.
I look forward to your success in attracting that wonderful person into your life!
Choose to have a great day!